


Safe and Sound[UNFINISHED]

by Chibiimon (japchaer)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ;-;, Alternate Universe - Dark, Broken!Hinata, DONT DO THIS TO ME, Eventual Happy Ending, Kageyama shows up later, Kidnapping, Like, Lots of sadness ahead, M/M, Oikawa is psycho, So don't bite my head off., like super crazy psycho, no one's going to read this anyways and I'll have to end this series at the first chapter, or like, sobs in a corner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:52:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6522397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/japchaer/pseuds/Chibiimon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata Shouyou was only ten when he was ripped away from his family and friends. Chained up and forced to depend on a monster who seems to have an affinity for him, this is the story of how his sanity ceased to exist.</p><p>Unfinished/will probably not update anymore.<br/>Sorry ;_;</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

It occurred 3 years ago on January 18th, 1999. I was only ten then. Fragile and hopelessly naive, I was seeing the entire world through gleaming rose colored lenses. It was a gray afternoon, solemn and monotonous. Above me, the clouds were cluttered and hid away the sunshine that I so adored, but stupid me couldn’t see the warning that was painted in the sky. Excitedly, I ran across the little path that connected my neighborhood to the nearby park grounds to meet up with my friends. We scheduled to meet at three, but I appeared at 2:15 because my mom had to show up to work at 2:45 and I didn’t want to cause my mom any more trouble than that. She wanted to accompany me till the very last seconds she could manage until her work required her, but I had no intentions of troubling her to such extents. Being raised into difficult circumstances where you barely have the ability to eat three meals a day, there’s little room to complain and allow myself to be spoiled. 

And so, I brushed off her fears with an stance of maturity wafting into the bitingly cold air of the exposed car door. The childlike narcissism was to be expected, being raised into such a responsible family, and so, she drove off with a kiss to my forehead and cringingly sweet farewells.

That was our final parting. Short and unmemorable. 

Once her car was out of my vision, I rushed towards the swings instantly, hyper and carefree. At first, I was greatly entertained by lifting myself into the sky on the swings, giggling and joyfully experiencing the thrilling sensations of leaping off at the top of my arch and landing into the plush cushion of the sand bank. However, the entertaining factor very soon drowned out. I started to absentmindedly kick my feet back and forth, toes barely hovering off the floor. The dry wind became more brutish. 

At the time, I had no idea that my friends entirely forgot about this engagement of ours, in the midst of their own unbridled anticipation, over a new game one of the kids received that very same evening. There I was, like an idiot, pitifully kicking rocks and looking up at every passing pedestrian in hopes that they were familiar faces. I felt like going home after an eternity, but having casually told my mom that I was going to carpool with these friends of mine, that idea was already down the drain. 

All of a sudden, all thinking processes ceased as I felt goosebumps run down my entire body, and the hairs on my arms pricking at the ends. 

The waiting game soon grew to be something extremely frightening. 

I didn’t know why I had such a jerk reaction, but I vividly remember turning right around me to see a pair of searingly intense, jet black eyes. It still frightens me now to think about the eyes that matched that cold evening to be the only eyes I ever see for years. My natural reaction, even now, is to shake in the presence of those eyes. 

Trembling violently, that day, I turned around just as quickly to lose the feeling of venom entering my system when I made eye contact with the man. It was strange, because, he didn’t initially come off as a dangerous individual. Even as a child, I could tell he was an above average individual, with handsome, boyish features that caught the eyes of most passerbys. His posture in a seated position on the wooden bench was top class, manners seemed to be ingrained in his system. It was like he was inappropriately placed in this modern era of ours, more suitable for some dated royal dynasty. Why was such a great man daintily present at such an unremarkable landmark? 

This nagging feeling of something slightly overwhelming, for some reason, wouldn’t abandon me and I wasn’t entirely sure of the cause. However, it must have something to do with the immense pressure the man with the piercing gaze exerted. It took all of my willpower and discipline to resist the urge to turn towards this supreme stress that was coming from behind me. I wanted to disappear, to run all the way home, wherever it was. At least at home, I could thaw out my fingers that were threatening to fall off, and be away from those strikingly mesmerizing eyes. 

It felt like too short a time before other kids rushed towards the swings and I had to hobble away into another area of the playground. Going too far away from the jungle gym wasn’t an option if I wanted to be in visible proximity of the parking lot, in order to spot my friends, that weren’t coming. I had also recalled that them and I had a tradition to go on the jungle gym together each and every time we were to play at the park, so that wasn’t a choice either. Other than sitting on the curb pitifully, the only other option was to sit on the park bench parallel to the man that made my stomach churn. Relaying back on all the memories that came into mind, where family repeatedly warned me to steer clear from strangers, I had a strong reluctance to go anywhere near that side of the park. But seeing as how he didn’t seem to have much interest in me anymore, it didn’t seem particularly dangerous at that moment. Hesitantly, I plodded towards the bench with unsure steps and hopped on top of the seat. There, I sat awkwardly silent for what felt like hours.

The sky was darkening into a bitterly dark shade that matched the temperature shrouded in the air. Uncontrollable shaking overcame me as my little body began to respond poorly to the slightly extreme weather transition. Without any words, warmth overcame me shortly after. The shaking died down a little bit and I looked up at the culprit, whom was none other than the man. The black blazer he previously wore was shed away in new appearance of a maroon cotton sweater. As a result, if I had looked close enough, I would’ve noticed that he had started to shake as well. Just barely though. The strange escalation of events didn’t even occur to me as suspicious as gratitude clouded what little judgement I had. I thanked him with a small voice and let the comforting warmth overcome me. Silence smoothed over the entirety of the park, as children began to scatter to the warmth of their own homes. I only had thoughts of my mom at the time. Half-expecting every car that drives up to the park to be her little blue prius, I intently stared at every approaching vehicle in the parking lot, only to be disappointed. Not long into my earnest monitoring that drowsiness suddenly began to overcome my focus. Unbeknownst to me, it hit the time that I would’ve been peacefully dozing away in bed. And so, I was weak to the temptations that the warmth of the blazer was trying to con me into. My eyes kept drooping even as I urged them to stay alert and awake by the use of my fingers, as to forcible keep them up. Moments later, down I went, stretched out on the park bench. Consciousness leaving me, I buried myself deeper in the warm fabric, The last thing I heard before I slipped away was the gentle sound of the man chuckling. 

 

 

 

I didn’t think I was awake when I analyzed my surroundings. 

And well...there was a logical reason for that.

As I peered around me, all I saw was nothingness. Absolute nil. It was pitch black, if I had to describe a color. It was like getting myself sucked into a black hole, I felt trapped and the child in me at the time felt claustrophobic in matters of seconds. Trying to get up and walk around was futile, loud chains rattled cruelly around me as slight understanding rushed over me. Hopelessly blind to my surroundings and binded down, I instantly started to cry. It very soon escalated into sobbing, and then, I was having a complete meltdown. I was shaking so much more than the below zero temperature outside could ever evoke from me. I screamed for help until my voice gave out. Not long after, I felt a wave of nausea and an extremely strong urge to throw up, having no comprehension of the situation I was in. And I did exactly that. The smell and overwhelming degree of confusion I felt, I cried and screamed simultaneously until I passed out. I woke up and threw up some more, bile rising up to my aching throat constantly. It wouldn’t be until the end of a third day of this same vile cycle repeating, that I would get any sort of communication from my captor.

I was just sitting there, in a pool of my own waste, when a sliver of light streaked into the damp walls of the room. I didn’t believe it at first. I thought I had gone blind at this point, which would explain the absence of any sort of visual comprehension. Consequently, my eyes instantly clamped shut from the exposure and my heightened hearing picked up a sound I wouldn’t soon forget. A soft chuckling. Shocked, I forced myself to crack open an eye in order to confirm my suspicions, and proceeded to gape at the top of a staircase. The man surely appeared, the very same man from the day prior. A chilling smile stretched across his face at the realizations that appeared on mine, subsequently, my heart dropped. It didn’t seem like the same person at all, save for the handsome features. At that moment, I came to notice the monstrosity that appeared behind his facade, interior personality revealed as he exhibits sickening amusement over the scene in front of him. He still continued to chuckle from the top of the staircase at the poor state I was in. I couldn’t even get angry. I was extremely weak and so, so scared. Soon, he started to giggle uncontrollably and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to scream more, out of pure hysteria, but my voice gave out a while ago. My body began to convulse and all I could do was sob silently. He equally as silently approached me, with a lax grin on his face, however, the manic glint in his eyes gave him away. The pools of ruin and foul stench accumulated in the vicinity didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest as he continued to stroll towards me. He stopped at my frail figure and crouched down to assess my appearance. My shaking escalated and I started to heave at the juxtaposition of our close proximities. Patting my matted down hair, his eyes started to crinkle at the corners and I felt bile rise up in my dry throat again, a feeling that I've grown so familiar to. I continued to heave violently, my cracked lips sore and angry. I flinched every time our body temperatures mingled and the only thing that manage to come out of my mouth was my barely audible whimpering. All of a sudden, like a switch that was flipped, the seemingly harmless and friendly front he offered to me went away. It was as if he suddenly registered the no man’s land of a room that he entered. His face contorted into revulsion and menace, and he pulled my hair up until I reached his eyes. The horror behind those penetrating beads was only the gist of it. I felt the same amount of venom that had entered my system before at the park begin to run through my body once more, and now it was properly, steadily numbing me to the core. He placed a large hand on my cheek and dug his nails in as silent warning, as he slowly turned my head to the side. 

I was numb to that sort of pain at this point.  
Rather, for the first time, I came to feel a desire to end my life. 

Up against my ear, he cheerfully uttered words that would haunt me forever.

“I’ll take care of you.”


	2. Chapter Two

It’s nearly impossible to recall how long I’ve been kept down here. Days, months, and probably even years manage to pass me by all the same, in empty continuity. Sound is deafening here, it’s like a time-lapse that never move. Any feelings of security I try to keep a hold of inevitably scatters within this timeless capsule, my sanity is surely slipping as I say this. 

What activities could one entertain in an abyss to keep their rotting self intact? 

 

Mindlessly I would amble about, back and forth, in the same little box that I’m restricted to. I feel my way around and would grow familiar to every nook and cranny of the walls and floor. The iron door that gleamed with potential brought me little hope, with a multitude of locks painting down every edge between me and the other side of that slab of metal. Countless times have I ran my hand down those rusty bolts, aching to just rip up the chains and grab onto the freedom that was literally just inches away from me.

Other days, it would bring me great comfort to recall simple memories from my childhood..and It’s funny how, although the lesson never changes, everyone still takes what they were blessed with for absolute granted. It makes me angry to have been one of those typical, ungrateful and spoiled human beings, lamenting on my futile situation further..

 

A memory I was particularly fond of was when my mom, on occasion, would gingerly press the palm of her hand onto my forehead. She’d never fail to notice when I would appear weirdly flush, and immediately start to inspect me for any indications of a fever. 

Moms were great like that.

Because of this, by placing the back of my hand against the ceiling of the room and noting sensitive temperature changes with careful consideration, I was able to keep track of the time of day and seasonal transitions that occurred within this desolate location. It brought me great comfort to have some updated understanding of the outside world. It became my oasis. I would spend forever just analyzing the different temperatures that occurred throughout the years. My favorite season to observe was rain, listening to the peaceful scattering of water against the cement was soothing and it would induce me to knock out like a light.

On another day, I was also so incredibly fortunate to secure myself a rusty bobby pin from a crevasse in the wall behind me, after days of scuffling on the ground and in between the walls mindlessly. 

For all these years, I’ve been able to successfully keep it tucked away in a broken flap of my pants pocket. 

These little discoveries and activities of mine, kept a flame in me lit, abling me to endure for another hour, another day….

And now, it’s not as psychologically draining as it was the first week or so of being under his deranged jurisdiction. 

During those first few days, I went through many things that I never had thought possible, as an unstained and completely pure child when I was brought underneath his “wing”. The initial day, in itself, was a memorable first for me. Throwing up to the extent where only liquids and dry air would expel out of my system brought me the greatest shock of anything I've ever suffered. Little did I know that my reaction towards something like that was considered melodramatic compared to everything else I would eventually go through.. Growing up exponentially beyond my years, embracing a sociopathic personality that I have rejected my entire life prior, and slowly learning to accept a monster as my savior and hero. 

 

Not.

\- that first week -

“So, what’s your name, beautiful?” I remember him asking after a while of staring me up and down with, crouched patiently in front of me.

His nails dug into my cheek deeper as I flinched away from his touch. [a/n: 1st chapter :3]

He grabbed my retch-crusted hands in the other hand and kissed it. Fervor building as he continues to make out with my hand like it was a reunion between two couples from unalike sides of the planet. I could feel the urge to throw up making a comeback, a familiar feeling, in which I grew used to forcibly keep down.

“Nn....” Voice hoarse, I tried to reply something coherent but to no obvious avail. Throat throbbing and burning with abuse, I didn’t attempt to speak again and opted to shake my head in attempt to communicate my discomfort. 

Shouldn’t have fell for his accommodating act. 

“Nn? Lemme guess, it’s Nagisa? Or maybe, Ninose?” 

I shook my head still, reaching up to signal towards my throat, but it still seemed useless to react at all.

“Hmm. Then, what? What’s your name??” I noticed that his voice slightly raised, smooth still, but acidic undertones were taking away from his approachable feel. 

My continued silence brought a domino of events to bow over. 

His eyes seemed to have glazed over and his body went strangely tipsy, like he was on the brink of something. I continued to grow more scared and confused, the extremity of his bipolaris behavior edged out to the adolescent in me, and prompted me towards wanting to run far, far away from there. To anywhere. 

However, I keep my guard on still, communicating by shaking my head. I was absolutely adamant on not releasing any more of my private information, at the very least.. 

The name Hinata, for now, will die along with me. Thinking it over back then, risking my family, especially my mom, would be much more worse than any type of sick fun he could have with me. And that he had. 

With my lack of response, I was half-expecting him to revert to the other half of his personality, the stoic psychopath that seemed like he could enjoy himself while nailing you to a stake. 

However, it was his manic personality that seemed to come through.

“Well, that’s quite alright, sweetie! Regardless, I’ll share with you my name anyways~”  
He leans closer to me, and his minty fragrance only brought my stomach to lurch some more.

“It’s Oikawa Tooru, but you can call me Kawa-sama. Yeah?” His eyes practically shining, both hands now resting against his cheek in his kneeled position, in anticipation of my response. 

Although his eyes were bright at that moment, it still possessed that dead fish look at the same time. It was truly like looking at the epitomy of a psychopath. 

So, I tried once again, anything to keep the madman from losing it entirely.

“K...k-ka….” 

Of course it hurt…! It hurt like hell!  
I couldn’t fathom the pain that kept accumulating at every fail attempt of mine to speak, I shut my eyes as I willed the burning to cease.  
I eventually shook my head after failing to follow his request for a second time. 

Moments would pass before Oikawa decided it was enough.  
He grabbed my neck as a result, and examined it closely, rubbing his hands around the expanse of the back of neck, I was terrified at the vulnerable state I was in. 

Powerless to pry him off, I was just gambling with the chance that he wouldn’t feel like snapping my neck then and there.

“What. Your neck look fine to me.” Oikawa mutters blandly, squeezing it lightly once.  
His fingers mingled around my throat like a warning, prompting my arms to begin trembling, overflowing with want to wrench his arms away from me.

Oikawa looked me dead in the eye and smirked.

“Your throat is fine, so say my name?” He repeated sweetly, with venom laced in his demand. How he managed to simultaneously express both his fake and inner selves was beyond my prepubescent comprehension..

My eyes widened and I felt tears welling up within me as his hands continue to roam around my throat and moved down a bit to travel along the deep grooves of my now prominent collarbones. 

I didn’t want to attempt speaking anymore, afraid of the deep pain that will resurface and permanent damages that may possibly occur, ending up with a meek silence clothing the air as I remained unresponsive still.

“Hey. I saaid, say. my. name!” Oikawa repeated, now obvious menace dripped off his words as he squeezed my neck with more force, enough for a mark that would stay in place in absence of his fingers. 

However, Oikawa kept a firm hold on my neck, to my utter dismay. He seemed to have been carrying traits of both of his personalities at that point, with the latter more violent personality taking over.

I pushed myself to speak, in fear of the repercussions, but life decided to continue and ram its shit down my throat so that I would proceed to suffer the horrors of its own makings some more. 

The pain never relented, but I foolishly continued to try anyways.

“K…..k!.......” 

The use of my repeatedly abused throat caused the tightening ring of muscles internally to contract extremely, and pushed me to full-fledged tears. I felt my vision blurring, although, I wouldn’t have been able to see anyways. 

Such is life, where no mercy is given to any supposed lifeform.

“Tsk…..what a fucking disappointing pet.” 

Oikawa proceeded to choke me. The fingers around my throat continued to tighten until veins started to pop out of his hands, all the way up his arms. I was gasping for air, for what felt like eternity. The room was dimly illuminated by the exposed door, but I started to see other lights that danced around my eyes during the process. 

“Don’t misbehave, kitty~ I hate to have to discipline you like this.” He cooed to me.  
[[a/n: Dang, what a sick bastard.]]

Suddenly, Oikawa released his grip on my neck. 

Greedily, I sucked for air that simultaneously brought relieving pressure to my body, and a slight cooling effect on my throat. 

This commences Oikawa’s first outright display of violence, but I easily knew that this was just the beginning. 

Judging by just the reminiscent feelings of his fingers lingering around my neck, it was also obvious that he was capable of even more terrifying things. My entire body shook with the threat, it would’ve brought me to my knees if I wasn’t already chained to such a position. 

Of course, there was more in store for me, of course there was. Oikawa's eyes started to gleam with a brighter illumination as something maniacal flashed briefly across his face, causing goosebumps to flair up my arms.

“Heyy! I just thought of a great idea. Wanna play a fun game?” Oikawa offered.

Suddenly, it was like the violent act didn’t even occur, him reverting back to his happy-go-lucky persona. 

This time around, I just nodded weakly, in fear of triggering any recurring tempers from any wrong moves, by avoiding any rejecting actions and lack of responses.

“YAY~! Alright, I’ll be just a moment, so sit tight!” 

He claps his hands together lightly and starts to descend the stairs and retreat out the door, leaving me behind to attempt and recuperate as much as I could muster before his immediate return. 

Learning quickly, in my short time here, it seemed that Oikawa was a lumberjack of some sort, boiling down most of my hope that our current location would be anywhere near civilization. That would also explain the inhuman strength that he’s only barely executed in my presence. 

He, unsurprisingly, has a large assortment of axes, with varying blade thicknesses and handle sizes, that he would show off to me. Cue the puke. 

With his newest devices, he would show them off by rubbing the glimmering blades against the sides of my neck and down my chest. 

Whenever he does this, Oikawa starts to breathe heavily, and I’m not completely interested in delving into the assumptions so, I too would just close my eyes and think about my mom during these awkward moments of silence. 

These were also the toys that he primarily used on his “play dates” with me. 

“O~kay, so listen carefully chibi-chan! We’re going to play a game now…” Oikawa flashed a cheeky grin in my direction.

“You know tag right??” 

I nod carefully and expectantly.

“Right. So when I count to three, I want you to run away as fast as you can! The boundaries are the walls of your room and if you slow down or stop, then I’ll catch you! Ready?”

Having lost my voice almost completely, I didn’t trust in myself to reply anything coherent anymore, opting to cast my eyes down and nod obediently. 

Since we’re playing, the chains restricting me to a single corner of the room has been released. My now liberated limbs have matching marks that are as annoyingly irritable as my smarting throat, but free nevertheless. Although I’m free to move around, it seems that the only door connecting this room to any other location has been locked even more so for this special occasion. The only source of light currently is a single candle in the corner that reveals the entire room for the first time. Bleak, as I had expected, and stained with nothing but my foul experiences here.

I take a deep breath in anticipation as he proceeds with the game.

“Alright then! Here I go!” 

He swings his axe around excitedly for no reason. He begins to crouch down in a stance much like olympic runners, most likely in preparation to chase me down in the most efficient manner. 

Analytical motherfucker. 

“One….”

My slight trembling from before has exponentially intensified, intelligent thought processes escaping me instantly.

“Two……” 

Oikawa giggles slightly as he looks towards my direction with an inviting smile coupled with a predatory gaze.

“Three!” 

I instantly bolt to the farthest corner of the room as he pounces towards the direction I was previously in, axe swung wildly down which hit the wall, but failed to receive its target. However, he seemed as composed as ever.

My eyes widen as the large gash in the wall is revealed as Oikawa retrieves the blade from the concrete conjoinment. It’s only now that I fully comprehend the stakes at hand. Although his initial proposal light, the case is that, this is not a simple child’s game anymore. If I don’t dodge the axe, then I’m effectively dead. 

Red fills my head as I anticipate his next move in contained desperation and nerve wrecking anxiety.

Oikawa starts to giggle carefreely despite my panicked demeanor, atmosphere thicker than what a game of tag should induce. The predator is currently toying with his dinner.

Carefully, I observe his every movement. Because his eyes are shifting just as wildly as his swings, it made it difficult to accurately anticipate his next phase of attack. 

…………..

To the right. 

I immediately dive for the right side of the room the millisecond he decides to attack me from the left. Thankfully, I was right in my split second decision, as the axe was decidedly thrown in my previous general direction, digging itself into the wall there.

“Aw! Sooo close!” Oikawa’s childish stomps echoed on the floor, lips pursed as if he was throwing a tantrum. 

However, his eyes looked as amused as ever.

“This is so fun though! Kitty, I’m gonna catch you reaaaal soon~~” 

His eyes suddenly went into slits.

“So watch-” 

Oikawa threw his axe at me mid-sentence and I failed to predict it, freezing in my spot like an idiotic deer in headlights.

“-out!” He exclaimed excitedly afterwards.

The axe didn’t hit square on like I predicted it to, to my relief, but it did indeed graze by shoulder and ended up driving itself deeply into the wall again, centimeters from my head. Tuffs of my matted locks fell to the ground and some feathered onto my now bleeding shoulder. Red cascaded down my collarbones and seeped into my tattered tee. 

Oikawa stopped in his steps and immediately strided towards my injured body, pushing me to the wall and jailing me within his arms. 

Silently, he dipped his head down and starting to indulge himself with the meal in front of him like a vampire at his limits. He sucked on the dirty and mahogany soaked collar piece of my shirt that rimmed my upper torso. Trailing his tongue up and swirling around the open source of the bleeding, he lightly sucked at the lips of the opening. 

It started to burn uncomfortably but I continued to silently tolerate it, praying for the end of today’s “play date” to end at this minimal amount of repercussions, barely managing to escape the toy that was currently only millimeters from my vital organs. 

After a few moments, and a complete clean up on his part, he pries the axe easily out of the wall and turns towards me with his trademark grin.

Smile widening at me, he takes my face in one hand, axe in the other, which brought my guard up into red alert. 

“Did you have as much fun as I did??” 

He asked curiously with warm eyes, but I knew better.

Despite my utter disgust interiorly, I nodded like I should’ve. 

A large weight rid itself from my shoulders as satisfaction filled his face and he leaned towards my face until his forehead was right up against mine. The grainy surface of my forehead gritted against the smooth and silky surface of his.

“I’m so glad then~! Because I had absolutely tons of fun too!” Overwhelming smell of iron and metal filled up my nostril as he spoke. 

Hold it down. Don’t throw up, not right now. I attempted to ease my stomach down by breathing shallowly and extinguishing the stench as much as possible before nausea overtakes my will.

“Alright, rest up for tomorrow. Same time, same place.” 

Oikawa proceeds to flirtatiously wink at me and my nausea almost took a mind of its own. 

However, my thoughts became only fixated on the concerns of the evil glint of the blade in his hand. I push myself to smile at him with as much artificial passion that I could muster and keep my iron stomach at once. A grimace may have surfaced instead, but luckily, he didn’t seem to take any offense or notice towards my poorly concealed disgust.

Oikawa concurrently pecks my cheek and squeezes my butt firmly in farewell. 

Waving at the top of the staircase, he disappears behind the closing door. A large sigh escapes me as the day’s events having extended themselves much longer today starts to hit me. I let everything out my system then, emptying all the contents of my meals accordingly, a normal occurrence for me.

Fortunately, my curly haired captor forgot to blow out the candle again tonight, which always brought a large comfort to me. It was a rarity that must be taken advantage of. 

The little flicker and inaudible sounds of burning brought me tremendous security, bringing me back to warm memories of lying across my mom’s chest as she soothed me to sleep with legends on countless, frozen nights.

After a long while of just drinking in the serenity of having a welcoming light companion shine throughout the room, I finally grow completely at peace with the quiet. 

My eyes shut with a weighing desire to sleep and slipped into unconsciousness quickly thereafter.

Oikawa’s appearance that usually came maybe two to three days a week escalated to daily visits, and every single approach of his continued to evolve creatively. Despite the varying approaches, he has still become quite predictable. 

Well, as predictable as an erratic psychopath could manage. 

At the very least, things are much more stable now. Because, although his personality is entirely erratic, my basic needs are surprisingly met. To a degree of decency of course. 

I’m successfully fed at least once or twice a day, a primary dietary constant of charred meats and an assortment of wild vegetables. Waste is disposed of in plastic bags, although often forgotten to be disposed of, so the bodily waste continues to pile up and overflow. Nothing I’m not used to though. 

It was silently established that my personal hygiene would be left neglected, but I'm decidedly grateful. 

Concerning his constant visits, as a necessary precaution, I’ve steadily been able to fine-tune my replies, in anticipation of his antics. 

My voice has also slowly come back to me, my voice soothed by the hiatus. Eventually, “Kawa-sama” would roll easily off the tip of my tongue. I've become capable of shamelessly calling out to him in such a manner without hesitation. Regardless, it took tremendous patience and something mentally shameful that took many trials until I was able to perfect this and accept the pride that I've lost. 

And nowadays, because of my accommodating theatrics, my captor’s calmed down tremendously. Oikawa is barely concerned with me enough to initiate violent acts much anymore, preferring to mentally toy with me instead. 

Of course, this is at the expense of my mental strength deteriorating at a more rapid pace. I’m not left to my devices sufficiently enough anymore. 

However, the bobby pin that feels like lead in my trousers continues to stay in the back of my mind, every time I feel myself slip away from my sanity. It became my sole saving grace. 

Oikawa’s words continue to grow more and more convincing to me, but grazing my hand against the miniscule indent in my pants never fails to bring me back to ground zero, even from the deepest of depths. 

Eventually though, even this becomes a useless instrument of mimic placebos. This feeling of innate hopelessness and unstable repetition has acted like a growth on the guarded system of my esteem. 

Voices of absolute demons constantly pound this feeling of worthlessness and continues to ingrain itself into me. Inhabiting this enclosed box of mine leaves a large expanse of opportunity for me to review this material until I perfect it. 

Years will come and go like this, and many seasons will pass by without my secured acknowledgement. I’ve lost all sense of societal traditions and beliefs, knowing only the concerns of what is within this space. I know all of this, and yet, I continue...?

 

At this moment, without voice nor right of action, taking comfort to one’s thoughts is cancer. This could be the closest thing one could feel that replicates the life as a vegetable. 

Wouldn’t dying be simple? A simple task indeed, I would be able to bear the silence of my personal demon and finally end all of this hell. 

Just one day, driving the axe into my system, deep and properly, during my captor’s moment of weakness. I can finally break away from this world, maybe then I would be able to see what the scenery beyond these walls consist of.

I would finally be at peace.  
Best of all, Oikawa’s facial distortion during my last, would be the cherry on top. 

Yes, I could do it just like that. Exactly like that.

And yet…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why am I still here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pressure got to me T_T 
> 
> I'm sorry, the chapter is probably trash, I kept redoing it and redoing it and this garbage is the result of my setbacks. I'm very sorry if it doesn't reach your expectations like my first chapter orz....
> 
> I was actually going to give up, after frustratingly redoing the chapter again and again to no avail and no end to my dissatisfaction..but since a few people really wanted to know what happens next, here it is...in all its shame jdslkajs
> 
> Someone please tell me the secret to being a great writer :-(
> 
> Anyways, next chapter, I was thinking about writing it in Oikawa's pov...? 
> 
> But, seeing my current content, if you'd like the series to continue, please tell me, because right now I'm not feeling too hot about this orz
> 
> Okay I'm going to sleep now, 1 am haha -monotone- yaaay


	3. A/N.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad news? ;u;

I guess....I'm deciding to drop this series...? My quality, as I progressed through developing this story, decreased severely. Basically, it just started to suck, and I didn't know how to fix it. orz Not sure if anyone was looking forward to it, but I mean, it wasn't really going anywhere... ;_; so sorry for that. That's....my mistake. I'm sorry. Well, that's all. 

I will continue to make other stories probably, as long as the inspiration stays with me. Okay, thank you and sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeeeeeeeey, almost 2k words worth of 
> 
>  
> 
> vague  
> ness.
> 
> Is it ok? ;_;


End file.
